Of Terror Goof-ups..! 

How did he do, in your opinion?

Didn’t he make a fool of himself and cut his own life short?

In any case it is never a good idea to use roller skates when your outfit is not appropriate and you have a suicide bomb belt attached to your waist!
But, terrorists and wannabes are known to have committed such bafoonary world over that adds not only to our joy of snickering but help us recalibrate our perception of their training, common sense and above all the level of threat perception. The list of stupid terrorist action is long and appears to grace all nationalities. Here’s a quick sample of some:-
The Last Kiss


In Afghanistan, would be suicide bombers were in habit of giving their trainers and comrades a last embrace before heading out on their mission – a potential harakiri move if you all are wearing suicide vests. It happened once that entire group of silly comrades went up the smoke as the bombs got accidentally detonated.
The Call For Jehad That Was Not There


Though some of the Jehadists are highly motivated, most are average loony, fanatic, show-off kind. In 2007, a group of American Muslims planned to attack Fort Dix in New Jersey. To prepare for assault, they hired local shooting range facility and while practicing screamed anti-American slogans calling for Jehad, filmed themselves, because they wanted to look ‘cool’ in their circles. Turned out, their DVD and screaming incidence was reported to law-enforcing agencies and they were apprehended before their ‘call for Muhammad’ could materialise at all.
Zarqawi’s Shaky Baptism in Terror


Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the founder of Al Qaeda in Iraq had a less than successful start to his career in terror. It happened so that, this bugger sent an operative to bomb a theatre showing adult pornographic film, according to Jordanian intelligence, in 1993. However, the bomber, after planting the bomb below his seat at theatre, got lured by the scenes of movie that was being displayed there and sat down to watch it.

The bomb detonated underneath him, and he eventually bled to his death.
Terror and Traffic Woes


A group of Birmingham wannabes wanted to bomb Anti-Islamic protest march going on there in early 2000. They waited with explocives-laden car initially at road crossings for the signal to turn green to move to pre-determined spot. Later on, becoming impatient they violated traffic signal. Their vehicle got impounded by traffic police for lack of insurance documents! When, somehow they were able to reach the spot, they realized that march had long crossed that location.
Another group of terrorists were busted in London, UK, when the car that they intended to use in blowing up of a suburban nightclub, was parked illegally and it was towed away! Fortunately for intelligence sleuths, these men had left their cellphones as well in the car, revealing all their possible accomplices to the security services.
The Fire That Put Out ‘Bojinka’ Plot


Ramzi Yousef, the terror mastermind behind 1993 World Trade Centre bombing, had planned with his equally infamous uncle Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, in 1994-95, a plot to bomb 12 American passenger jets over the Pacific Ocean. Known as the ‘Bojinka’ plot, this was to be inspiration for later Al Qaeda sponsored 9/11 attack on twin towers. They constructed bombs and even did a ‘trial run’ of sorts, detonating a small bomb on one plane, killing a passenger on board. But, before the main plan could materialize, a fire broke out at their bomb-making lair near Manila accidentally, alerting Philippine Security Officials. Subsequent raids led to materials getting confiscated and fizzling out of the plot. Yousef was eventually arrested in Pakistan and sent to US for trials, while Khalid was eliminated in an airstrike.
Oh, So Near Misses


On December 22, 2001 Islamic propaganda inspired Richard Reid attempted to blow up a Miami bound flight from Paris. As he tried to ignite a bomb hidden in the soles of his shoe, an alert flight attendant noticed the smell. Passengers and Crew members immediately overpowered that jerk, the flight was diverted to Boston airport to land safely and Reid was handed over to authorities after his moments of media highlight for his bafoonary.
In 2009, a Yemeni Al Qaeda affiliate Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab also tried to repeat a ‘Richard Reid’ in a Detroit bound flight, by trying to detonate a bomb hidden in his underwear. He too was subdued by passengers and handed over to authorities after setting fire to his clothes and a blanket.
A Crash Barrier Away From Actual Target


A plot in 2007, in UK to blow up Glasgow airport, was undone by the idiocy of the wannabe Jehadists. A Physician and a university research scholar wanted to work for ‘Allah’s cause’ by scheming to get their Jeep Cherokee – loaded with fuel and propane tanks, crashed into Glasgow airport terminal building causing severe losses. They managed to get their vehicle crashed to a barrier – quite far from actual terminal building. It is not known, whether the act was deliberate – they might have thought that barrier would easily give way, as in movies – or, out of confusion. Bomb did go off – but without causing any damage to terminal building, however engulfing the duo in flames – one dying on spot of burns, and the other succumbing later on in hospital.
Al-Shabab’s Chimp Embarrassment


A member of the African mercenary group, Al Shabab, is known to have handed over his assault rifle to a pet Chimp in jungle, during moments of hyper-excitement in a celebratory dance. It is not known whether safety-latch got accidentally undone or, the Chimp had better IQ, a volley of fire led to the death of a couple of operatives from Chimp’s rifle. Rifle could be retrieved with lots of difficulty subsequently after only getting the Chimp killed.
Of Fake Bombs Supplied


Terrorists in US have time and again shown their ineptitude and woefull lack of awareness when they have been supplied with fake bombs by FBI informants and agents. The bomb refuses to go off at required moment or fizzles out leading to arrest of these wannabes red-handed.

False Islamic Piety And Lust


Though some of the terror operatives may try to live exemplary lives, hypocrisy is common in the ranks and files. Sex is a common weakness and Pornographic files are routinely found on the computers of arrested or killed terrorists – including computers found in the Bin Laden compound!
Many terrorists have been known to be eliminated after honeytrping them.
Neither animals are safe in their compounds. A sniper rifle thermal imagery captured two Talibani fighters satisfying themselves with a donkey once. Needless to say, two shots from the rifle led to their annihilation and the rescue of poor animal.
A Saudi operative is on record of having died of testicular haemorrhage and agonising pain, after having received a kick of she-camel, when he tried to ride it from behind, following Muhammad’s commandments in littoral sense.

This happens when you pursue the bogus agenda of a pervert.
Should We Laugh At These Fools?


Why not!

Laugh your heart out at these stories of failed attempts, if you want to.

These incidents only point out to lack of training and professionalism in these wannabes, besides personal weaknesses which can be targetted by counter-terrorism authorities for the good of society. Laughing at failed attempts may seem insensitive at best, or a form of hubris at worst, if it is followed by a successful attack later on. Terrorists do many stupid things, it must be kept in mind, that need to be recognized and exploited.


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